The ABCs of Cycling

Ah, cycling. In many ways, it is one of the most intimidating sports you could possibly pick up. And just when you’ve learned the basics of shifting and sprung for a matching kit, you realize there are endless, seemingly arbitrary rules to follow. The consequence of breaking one of these previously unknown commandments? TOTAL AND COMPLETE EXILE.

OK, perhaps we’re being a little over-dramatic. But, you will get a little side-eye and perhaps some friendly ribbing on the next shop ride.

From proper sock height to the unspoken rules of the road, these are the ABCs of cycling.

A is for aero.

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And especially the aero tuck when descending like a pro.

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B is for bib shorts.

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Like a warm embrace that lasts just a little too long.

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C is for chamois cream.

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Never, ever leave home without it.

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D is for drafting.

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But never, under any circumstances, half-wheeling.

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E is for eight.

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The only acceptable number of safety pins when attaching your race number to your jersey. And remember, never pin through the holes.

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F is for flats.

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An inevitable occurrence and one for which you must always, always be prepared.

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G is for Garmin.

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How else will you know how far, how fast or how many watts?

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H is for heart rate.

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As in, that number you see insanely spiking as you climb a 12 percent grade.

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I is for interval training.

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Full gas start to finish, then recover and do it again. How else will you get faster?

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J is for juniors.

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The next generation (or your biggest obstacle in a mixed field). *eye roll*

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K is for KOM.

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And QOM, of course. Now get back to chasing down that segment.

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L is for La Course.

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And the hopes that ASO will finally give the women a multi-stage race.

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M is for Merckx.

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All hail!

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N is for N +1.

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Otherwise known as the equation used to derive the correct number of bikes to own.

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O is for offseason.

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AKA time well-spent in the pain cave. At least now we have Zwift, right??

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P is for psi.

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It's printed on the freaking tire, after all. No excuses.

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Q is for questioning the actions of drivers.

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We're not talking about being agro a la Portlandia's Spyke, but you should always question whether you're seen.

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R is for rally.

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When you're itching for new scenery and fully supported rest stops.

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S is for sock doping.

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Socks can be any color you like, but must match (or complement) your kit. And never, ever wear ankle socks.

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T is for tan lines.

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Wear them proudly.

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U is for UV protection.

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Never forget the backs of your ears and your neck (or beware the painful consequences).

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V is for velodrome.

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Or 42-degree walls of death, as we like to think of them.

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W is for water.

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If you're thirsty, it's too late.

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X is for X-training.

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Gasp! Turns out you really can make gains while off the bike.

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Y is for yellow jersey.

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And the ever-dwindling number of those who actually retain their TdF title in the record books (looking at you, Froome).

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Z is for ZZZs.

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Sleep is the best form of recovery (other than a post-ride pint). Let your body's restorative system get to work, and you'll be surprised at the results.

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